How To Vote If You Have Kids

I’m not here to tell you how to vote, but I am here to tell you how to vote with kids. The boxes you check in the voting booth are not my business, but if you are a parent of littles and you currently aren’t planning to vote because of the special kind of chaos it takes to somehow miraculously get you to the polls with some sliver of understanding of the issues, this is for you.

It is very easy to skip out on casting your vote when you have little kids. And I am absolutely not here to shame you if you simply don’t want to participate this year. People without kids (or those who haven’t had small children for many years) cannot comprehend the effort it takes to go to the grocery store with children, much less what a parent has to do to participate in the election process.

But if you want to vote and you’re running into a few road blocks unique to being a parent, here are the most common complicating factors you might be facing, and a few options for how to overcome those issues.

You want to vote, but know next to nothing about the issues.

When I recently voted, on my ballot there was a staggering 64 different things to vote on. It’s truly insane, and I doubt even the most attentive and patriotic citizens have a firm grasp on every single person and issue up for election. For those of us with young children, the idea of “doing our homework” after wiping up bodily fluids for small humans all day is outrageous. When you finally coerce the children to sleep, the last thing most of us want to do is scroll through the platforms and history of hundreds of different people vying for political office. To feel overwhelmed by the options is normal, and you do not have to know everything to vote.

Vote for the party you like best- You always have the option simply to click on the person representing the political party you most identify with. It is easy to think that this is somehow “cheating,” but for many years you could simply click one button to vote for all the candidates of one party (known as voting “straight ticket”). It was a common way to vote in prior years, and I don’t think it’s a terrible way to vote now. However, if you Google “what’s on my ballot” for your state and county, you will get a sort of cheat sheet to see all the different things you will be voting on. After the kids go to bed, you could scroll through these options and work to familiarize yourself with as many as you can. A little research is especially helpful when you are trying to understand the things on the ballot that are propositions, amendments, etc. It seems like these are often written to be confusing and unnecessarily verbose on purpose simply to frustrate us. Taking some time to understand these would be helpful when you can’t clearly see the way to vote based on your political party alignment. Taking the time to familiarize yourself with your ballot would be admirable, and even if you only study a portion of the candidates, you can walk into the voting booth with some confidence that you are informed.

Only vote on the things you feel you know enough about- For those of us trained in standardized testing, the idea of leaving an answer blank is an egregious sin that we cannot bear to commit. When you’re taking a test in school, ANY answer is better than NO answer. But voting isn’t a test. It is perfectly acceptable to vote on the races and issues you feel confident about, and leave the rest of the ballot blank. As the kids grow older and demand less of your time, you could be more informed in future elections. But for now, just voting for the few things you know and care about is perfectly patriotic and much better than not voting at all.

You want to vote, but don’t have childcare.

I stood in line last week for 45 minutes to vote and I considered that a victory. Two years ago I waited almost three hours. The idea of dragging my kids through a line for hours where at the end they don’t even get to ride a roller coaster or get a treat or meet a Disney character is a thought that I do not want to entertain. But for many of us, that is the only option we feel that we have that would allow us to get out there and exercise our right to vote. If that’s you, I’ve got a few options that I hope you will consider.

Tag team with your parenting partner- If you are fortunate enough to have a partner with whom you parent, tag team the voting this year. This might be a little complicated if you can only vote on election day, but if early voting is offered, this is an easy solution. One day after work, ditch the kids and your partner and head to the polls. After casting your vote, take some time to treat yourself with a baked good, iced coffee, or any number of other treats, and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Enjoy your treat in a quiet car without screaming kids, and then head home to re-enter the fray. If there is time on that same day for your partner to vote, give them a high five on their way out the door. If the polls have closed, swap roles the next day and let them ditch you and the kids for a couple hours after they clock out from their day job.

Partner with another parent- Unless you truly are alone in this parenting journey, you probably know someone that has kids who is in a similar boat. They may want to vote, but the idea of dragging a gaggle of children (or even one kid) to the polls is an overwhelming prospect. Reach out to this person, make a plan, and take turns. It might be on the same day or, if you are voting early, you could go vote one day and the other could vote the next day. Drop your kids off at your friend’s house, toss them a survival bag of extra snacks and diapers, and make your way to the closest voting location. After you’ve done your civic duty, trade off. If it’s the same day, you could even keep the children all at the same house. If it’s a different day, flip the trade off, have your friend drop their kids off with you at your house, and manage the chaos alone for a few hours. And don’t feel guilty about how you survive. Turn on the tv, pass out the tablets, open wide the snack pantry, and just keep the kids alive for a few hours while your friend votes. It certainly won’t be easy, but it’s better than dragging your kids through the line with you, especially if you’ve got babies in diapers.

Take the kids with you- If your kids are done with diapers and can handle a few hours out in society without a nap, I don’t think you should hesitate to bring them with you if that is the best option available to you. Charge the tablets, bring out the busy bags, and pack some toys to help them make it through the ordeal. Many of us can’t fathom doing this out of fear for how people will judge us when our kids start tearing down the walls in boredom, but you’re not going to a four star restaurant; you’re heading to the local community college to stand in line. I don’t care if your kids are literally running circles around the building, the people who might judge you are probably voting for the politician you oppose, so they suck anyway. Who cares what they think? I am certain you will get more smiles of encouragement and pats on the back than eye rolls. People look at voting as sacred, and seeing a parent grit their teeth and power through the chaos to get to the polls will inspire those in line with you. And if your kids are old enough, they might log this memory away and reflect on your commitment to democracy when they are old enough to understand. I truly think taking your kids to vote with you is a win/win situation, although in the moment it might feel like a nightmare. If you have no other options, swat away those feelings of shame and embarrassment as your kid licks the railing in the voting line, and hold your head high as you wait to participate in our most important democratic process.

It’s not impossible to vote, but it’s not easy.

Outside of parenting, there are any number of other issues that could make voting difficult- transportation, time off of work, etc.- and I do not want to pretend that many of you are only struggling to vote because of the kids. It truly is a privilege to be able to vote, and I do not think every community is doing everything they can to make voting as easy as possible for everyone from all different walks of life. But if you’ve got solutions to the other road blocks that could prevent you from getting to the polls, I do believe parents can participate in elections. It looks different, and like everything else we do as parents, takes way more effort than is reasonable, but I believe it is worth it. We’re not talking about skipping a night out with our friends because we couldn’t find a babysitter. We’re talking about forgoing our opportunity to help shape the future of our local, state, and national government. I will never shame a parent for making the decision that is best for them and their mental health, but if you can put forth the extra effort to vote this year, I do not think you will regret it.

Justin Kellough